The Man’s Guide on How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

sexual performance anxiety

The Man’s Guide on How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual performance anxiety is a real and very common problem. It can be incredibly paralyzing and lead to bigger issues in bed as well as in relationships. If it is allowed to continue, it can cause real damage to your confidence and self-esteem. But it doesn’t have to be. Here’s a man’s guide on how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.

Understand What Sexual Performance Anxiety Is

Sexual performance anxiety is the fear of not being able to perform sexually; not being able to satisfy your partner in bed. This can result in feelings of inadequacy, feelings of incompetence, or feeling self-conscious and anxious.

Recognize the Physical Symptoms of Performance Anxiety

Sexual performance anxiety manifests itself in physical symptoms, including dry mouth and difficulty focusing, as well as more uncomfortable symptoms like knees knocked, shoulders tight, and hands clenched.

Check Your Mental and Emotional State

The mind can play a big role in developing performance anxiety, primarily caused by negative thinking. To get rid of performance anxiety, it’s important to identify these negative thoughts and work to reframe them in a positive way.

Understand the Causes of Performance Anxiety

There are many different causes of performance anxiety, but stress and anxiety can have the biggest impact. Other causes can include fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, and fear of the act itself.

Communicate with Your Partner

Communication is key in all relationships, and it’s especially important to talk about performance anxiety with your partner. Talk about expectations, comfort levels, and other details to be sure all parties are on the same page.

Remove Pressure from the Situation

Eliminating or reducing pressure while having sex can go a long way in overcoming performance anxiety. This can come in the form of exploring new positions, trying different sexual activities, or focusing more on the emotional connection.

Practice Mindfulness

Being mindful can help to reduce feelings of anxiety, as well as help to refocus your thoughts onto the here and now. Mindfulness can help to reduce all the distractions, and overthinking.

Develop a Calming Ritual

Developing a calming ritual before sex can help you to stay relaxed during sex. Try taking a hot bath, meditating, listening to calming music, or taking a few deep breaths.

Get Help if Needed

If after trying these strategies, you are still struggling with sexual performance anxiety, it’s important to seek more help. Talking to a therapist, coach, or even a trusted friend can help to reduce anxiety and build confidence.


Sexual performance anxiety is very common and can be very overwhelming. Fortunately, there are a number of strategies that can help to overcome it. Understanding what sexual performance anxiety is, recognizing the physical symptoms, addressing the mental and emotional aspects, communicating with your partner, removing pressure, practicing mindfulness, and creating a calming ritual, are all key to overcoming performance anxiety. If needed, it’s important to seek help and support from others.

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